The worst time to improvise

When a family hits a crisis point with addiction, the house becomes a pressure cooker. Someone has overdosed or nearly overdosed, someone has disappeared for a night or three, someone has come home aggressive and unpredictable, money is missing again, the phone call comes from a police station, the school calls, the employer calls, the partner calls crying, and suddenly the whole family is in emergency mode. In that moment people either freeze or they explode, and both reactions are understandable, because panic makes you stupid. You start arguing, begging, threatening, bargaining, crying, making deals you cannot enforce, or trying to physically control a person who is not in a state to be reasoned with.

This is exactly why families need a plan that is short, practical, and action focused. Not a long conversation about feelings. Not a moral lecture. Not a spiritual ultimatum. A plan. The next 72 hours matter because that is often the window where the person is either scared enough to accept help or unstable enough that waiting becomes dangerous. If you waste that window arguing, the crisis settles, the person promises the world, and you slide back into the same cycle until the next blow up.

How to assess danger quickly

A crisis plan starts with one blunt question, is this medically dangerous right now. If the person is heavily intoxicated, struggling to breathe, turning blue, cannot be woken, is vomiting and drifting in and out, has taken unknown substances, has mixed depressants like alcohol and pills, or has taken opioids, that is a medical emergency. You do not negotiate. You do not wait for them to sleep it off. You get emergency medical help immediately.

If the person is agitated, paranoid, threatening violence, carrying weapons, driving while intoxicated, or behaving in a way that suggests psychosis, that is also urgent because safety comes first. If the person is talking about wanting to die, giving away possessions, saying people would be better off without them, or speaking with hopeless certainty, you treat it as serious. Even if they later claim they were exaggerating, you do not gamble with that. Crisis language is a warning sign, not a performance.

There is also the less dramatic but still serious crisis, the person has not been home, they are spending uncontrollably, they are not sleeping for days, they are disappearing at night, they are mixing substances, they are losing work, and the household is destabilising. It might not look like an ambulance situation, but it is still a moment where the family can act, because the person is already sliding.

What not to do in a crisis

The first mistake is arguing with intoxication. You cannot reason with a person whose brain is chemically hijacked. You will not win. The conversation will spiral and the person will either become more aggressive or more manipulative. The second mistake is moral speeches, telling them about their potential, telling them about how much you love them, telling them you are disappointed, telling them they are killing you. That might feel true, but in a crisis it often lands as pressure, and pressure triggers escape.

The third mistake is making threats you cannot enforce, because once you break your own threat, the addict learns that your words are noise. The fourth mistake is trying to physically control the person unless you are dealing with immediate safety risk and you have proper assistance, because the situation can become violent quickly. The fifth mistake is splitting the family into different strategies, one person rescue, one person rage, one person silent, one person bribing. Addiction thrives in division. If the family is not aligned, the person will find the weakest point and push it.

The final mistake is negotiating terms of treatment while the person is in crisis. Families start bargaining, okay you can go for three days, you can keep your phone, you can leave whenever you want, you can do it your way. That turns treatment into a comfort service rather than a structure, and it often fails before it begins.

Who to call and what to prepare

If you are in a crisis window, you need to line up support fast. That might include medical services if there is overdose risk, a treatment facility that can do admissions, a professional interventionist or counsellor who can guide the process, and one or two trusted family members who will stick to the plan.

Prepare practical items, identification, medical aid information if applicable, a list of current medications, any relevant medical or psychiatric history, and a basic bag of clothing and toiletries if admission is likely. If the person has been using heavily, do not assume they can safely detox at home. Alcohol, benzodiazepines, and opioids can be medically complex. Even stimulants can lead to dangerous agitation, paranoia, and depressive crashes. The safest move is to involve professionals rather than trying to manage withdrawal with home remedies and hope.

Also prepare your language. In a crisis, you do not need ten paragraphs. You need simple, calm statements. We are getting help today. This is not negotiable. We are not fighting. We are doing this now. You can speak like a human without being cruel, but you must be firm, because ambiguity becomes delay.

What to do if the person becomes volatile or unsafe

Some crisis moments involve aggression, threats, or unpredictable behaviour. If someone is violent, armed, or threatening harm, do not try to be a hero. Get professional help. Create distance. Protect children. Remove yourself from immediate danger. Families sometimes keep a dangerous person close because they are scared of what will happen if they leave. That fear is real, but staying in a violent situation does not protect anyone. It increases risk.

If someone is severely intoxicated and insists on driving, treat that as a crisis. Do not debate. Get help. If someone is in a psychotic state, hearing things, making bizarre claims, acting paranoid and irrational, treat that as urgent. Substance induced psychosis and severe mental health episodes can be dangerous and need clinical intervention.

What happens after admission

A huge mistake is treating admission as the end of the crisis. Admission is a start. The person often arrives angry, ashamed, defensive, or charming. They may call on day two and beg to leave. They may promise they have learned their lesson. Families often panic and bring them home because they cannot tolerate the discomfort of conflict. That is how the revolving door starts. The family’s job is to stay aligned and let the treatment process do its work.

Families also need their own support. Addiction is a family illness in the sense that it reshapes everyone’s behaviour. During treatment, families should learn how to stop enabling, how to communicate properly, how to set boundaries, and how to prepare for aftercare. Aftercare matters because relapse is most likely when the person returns to the same environment with no structure and no accountability. If you do not plan the return, you are gambling with the next crisis.

The 72 hour plan in plain terms

When the crisis hits, assess medical danger and get urgent help if needed. Align the family, no mixed messages, no secret deals. Contact professional support, admissions, intervention, medical services as required. Prepare the basics, documents, bag, medication list. Speak in short calm sentences. Move quickly while the window is open. Use leverage, not begging. Follow through on boundaries if they refuse. Prioritise safety if volatility escalates. Once admitted, do not sabotage the process by rescuing them out early. Start planning aftercare immediately.

The crisis is not the time for hope, it is the time for decisions

Families often say they are waiting for the person to be ready. Crisis is often the closest thing to ready you are going to get, because crisis cuts through denial. If you handle the crisis with panic, bargaining, and chaos, you teach the addict that the storm will pass and nothing will change. If you handle it with a clear 72 hour plan, calm alignment, professional support, and boundaries that actually hold, you give the person a real chance to step into treatment instead of stepping back into the same loop.

The goal is not to punish them. The goal is to stop gambling with their life and your family’s stability every time addiction lights the fuse.